The Mathematical Mystery of the Mid-Life Crisis

Am I the only person to question this??

I have too many thoughts; I just can't seem to HELP it. In addition to having too many thoughts, I wonder about too many things...including the ever popular "Mid-Life Crisis". I'm pretty sure it's a hoax, although I couldn't say precisely who perpetrated it initially (well, outside of the obvious - it has "Guy Thing" written all over it :o)

Personally, I think it's all about Denial (and I don't mean that river in Egypt). How else could people justify completely ridiculous and often irresponsible behavior when they are supposed to be old enough to know better? My husband always used to tease me that when I hit 40 he was going to trade me in on a newer model. Living in the south, these [highly delusional] plans morphed into thoughts and comments about doing a "twofer" (that's Southernese for a two-for-one deal, by the way). He thought it would be a grand plan to cash in his "old" 40 for two "new" 20's. Of course I felt obligated to point out that his pacemaker probably couldn't handle it (he doesn't actually have one but he IS, after all, several years older than I...)

Anyway, somewhere along the line it occurred to me that this thing known as the "Mid-Life Crisis" is an absolute mathematical impossibility. Think about it: in order to have a crisis in the MIDDLE of something, don't you have to know when the END is?? How can you possibly figure out where the middle is without prior knowledge of the end? I'll admit that the left side of my brain IS sadly lacking, but even I know there is something not quite right with this equation.

Maybe it was the cancer diagnosis at age 40 that prompted this line of thinking. The thought that if I didn't make it the full 5 years out (to the ripe old age of 45) it would mean I should have already HAD my midlife crisis at the age of 22. So did I miss it? Can I reschedule?

I think I'm going to have a mid-life crisis; they sound like fun. Maybe I'll just declare myself a late bloomer, go Nike, and "Just Do It". Yep, that's what I'm going to do, so I suppose I'd best get to it. I wonder how my husband would feel about a Harley Hog this Christmas. You know, come to think of it, he hasn't had HIS crisis either. Guess we might just end up with that twofer after all...

To read the other sections contained in my Squidoo lens ('cause yep, there's more :o) visit 3, 2, 1....AARRGH!!!

Frittering - Er, Make That Twittering Your Days Away...

To best understand where I'm coming from in this post, I highly recommend reading "Techno Twit and the Digital Suicide Attempt" posted in April of 2008 (It'll help - well, maybe :o) I really couldn't say why I did it; I shouldn't have (really) but I did. I signed up for Twitter. Why? I dunno - temporary insanity perhaps? Personally, I think the umpteen blogs, communities, cliques, groups, promotional sites, advertising sites, retail sites, networking sites, centers, albums, (yadda yadda yadda) I belong to should be more than enough to do already. AND let us not forget our very own twenty something page website (click here to go see it) I so stupidly opted to do FROM SCRATCH (to save money that we did not have) and now MAINTAIN (to save more money that we still don't have) for our not-for-profit farm. Attempting to promote the shops and our site, I signed up for something that looked helpful only to find there was another something to sign up for that came after it. It got to the point that I had to start jotting them down on a handydandy 3x5 index card to keep them all straight, then had to transfer it all to the front of a 4x6 index card when I ran out of room. Do I need to follow up with obvious? I am, of course, now on the back of that 4x6 index card and eyeballing some notebook paper (as said 4x6 is almost full on both sides :oP

I gotta wonder, though, about this latest craze: Twitter. The first thing you're asked upon joining is, "What are you doing right now?" Of course me being me said, "I'm typing this stupid sentence on Twitter..." Or words to that effect, anyway. It's a little on the voyeuristic side of life, isn't it? Why do you care what I am doing right now? Are you that bored? Why do I want to know what you are doing right now? What do I care? PLUS; if you want to be obnoxiously pickyabout it (and apparently I do), whatever I say I'm doing "right now" on Twitter can't be what I'm doing "right now" because "right now" the only thing I'm doing is typing on Twitter. So, now that I belong to this ridiculous group, does that make me an "official" Twit? When I type what I am doing now (but am no longer doing, about which you should not care) do I then become a Twitter-er?

I will very likely leave this site to go to that site to say what I am doing now (but am no longer; about which you probably will not care). Other than creating an immediate need for Tylenol, is there a point to this post? I seriously doubt it, but you know what? I don't care :o)

Aren't We Done YET??

A quick interim post (or status update, if you will :o)...

It's amazing just how complex the simple things can become. Like getting organized (and staying that way ~ for crying out loud!) It didn't sound like a monumental task for my summer, but I have decided that I am able to complicate even the simplest of projects (I apologize to those who are offended for using the "P" word; p-r-o-j-e-c-t) in an unbelievably short period of time.

Granted, taking a house that appears to have survived some sort of internalized natural disaster is a bit less than simple, HOWEVER, it has recently come to my attention that complicating projects can indeed be elevated to an art form (and I'm just so there :oP

I did manage to get some things done though, see?

and here...

I suppose I should confess to being hopelessly addicted to storage bins and tubs (They're just so handy). My father gleefully clipped and sent all of the funnies from Cathy (comics) when she was have her storage container crisis ~ the store ran out of her existing color of choice. Honestly, what's a girl to do? Of course you know she had a meltdown over it (Irving may not have understood, but I was totally empathetic :o)

We did get a "trashed" 5 drawer lateral filing cabinet gussied up from its industrial grey and rust finish (ick) to something a little easier on the eyes...

Considering there are approximately 2 square feet of open space in my office, it was a little dicey trying to get a picture (although I think you can get the gist :o) Inexpensive picture frames were used to cover the mangled and missing label holders on the front of the drawers. Turned out pretty neat, didn't it? My daughter gets the credit for the initial sanding ~ she worked like a Trojan on it!

Time to get ready for church, and then maybe I'll see if I can put a few more things in some bins this afternoon. Hmmm...so if I'm now in my early 40's, maybe by the time I actually get it all put in bins, organized, and labeled it'll be ready for the move to my new home in Geriatricville, USA. Possibly even in time for my 96th birthday.

... or not...

3 - Techno-Twit and the Digital Suicide Attempt

Okay, kill me now please - it's taking too long doing it digitally. I was most of the way "around the bend" when I started the Etsy stuff and I have now discovered precisely what lies waiting for you around said bend. It's a cliff. A nice, steep, don't look down cliff that drops off into a technological void from which there is no escape. Where did all this stuff come from???? And why the heck does it seem like everybody has known about it forever? We're talking absolute old hat here, and I'm wearing earmuffs.

I've learned to download, upload, and reload but seem to identify best with overload. I've googled then goggled at the deluge of information I'm expected to wade through (385 billion matches for your request...Yikes!) I've Flickr'd (mostly like a dim bulb); Stumbled then fumbled and totally bumbled; I've blogged (hey! I get that one, it's like writing :o) and now it would seem I Squidoo. Do you? Let's not forget Facebook; signed up? Yes. Figured out? NO. I'm set up on Ning, linked to a ring, even learned how to ping (if I need to test my connection).

So why exactly am I DOING all this stuff? Because it's supposed to help me promote my Etsy shop and increase my traffic. Of course what I have actually managed to get up and running is basically invisible. Um, hmmmm...is it just me or is advertising your shop on an invisible billboard pretty much an exercise in futility? Maybe one day I'll get it all figured out (you know, on the free laptop they give you to use at the nursing home). Maybe.

I know there are FAMs and fellow Etsians out there in cyberspace at these places, as a few have actually found me on Blogger and Flickr - of course I haven't actually figured out how to find anyone else yet. I'm not even sure where I am exactly. Don't worry though, cyberself discovery is on my list of things to do (it's the one in 2 point type on that neverending roll of Charmin). I think I'll do that now, actually. Right after I check out something called "Indiepublic". I wonder what that's all about...